Funny Relationship Quotes {125+} -Funny Couple Memes

Funny relationship quotes: Relationship is a connection, association or sharing between people. Inspirational funny relationship quotes will challenge your way of thinking, and make your life worth living.

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Funny relationship quotes {125+} -Funny Couple Memes

Best Most Popular Funny Relationship Quotes

1:) True love amounts to hiding the truth, even when you are presented with the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris

2:) Marry a man your age where your beauty fades, and so does his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller

3:) Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re after, start with a car battery. – Irma Bombeck

4:) Everything in the world revolves around sex except for sex. Sex is about strength. – Oscar Wilde

5:) The best birth control I have right now is to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers

6:) The woman is cursed, the man is the proof. – Roseanne Bar

7:) Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake it, you’re in. – Richard Jenny

8:) Love is sharing your popcorn. – Charles Schultz

9:) Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest are cheating in Europe. – Jackie Mason

10:) Where love is the ass doctor. – English proverb

11:) Love is the same except that you feel the sex. – Judith Fuerst

12:) A lady knows that the ropes are unlikely to be tied. – May West

13:) My wife is really emotional. One Valentine’s Day, I gave her a ring, and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words engraved inside – Made in Taiwan. – Leopold Fechner

14:) I love being married. It’s great to find that special someone you want to tease for the rest of your life. – Rita Rodner

15:) What would men be without women? Rare sir, very rare. – Mark Twain

Memes Funny Relationship Quotes

16:) lf you love them in the morning and their eyes are full of crust if you love them at night and their hair is full of bobbins, you are probably in love. – Miles Davis

17:) She was married by a judge. I should have requested the jury. – Groucho Marx

18:) A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. – Spanish proverb

19:) There are only three things a woman needs in life: food, water, and compliments. – Chris Rock

20:) I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. – Elizabeth Evans

21:) An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can grow up, the more he cares about her. – Agatha Christie

22:) Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve loved for a long time in a store window. You may love it when you get it at home, but it doesn’t always go along with everything else. – Jan Kerr

23:) Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s fun. – Fran Lebowitz

24:) The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends. – Bobby Kelton

25:) What is the difference between a friend and a husband? About 30 pounds. – Cindy Garner

26:) Women need a reason to have sex. Guys just need a place. – Billy Crystal

27:) all you need is Love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M Schulze

28:) Polygamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. – Oscar Wilde

29:) When a guy goes on a date he wonders if he’ll get lucky. A woman who already knows. – Frederick Ryder

30:) The most important thing in the relationship between a man and a woman is for one of them to be good at taking orders. – Linda Vista

Funny Long Distance Relationship Quotes

31:) Gravity has nothing to do with people fall in love. – Albert Einstein

32:) Love is mutual self-giving that ends with self-healing. – Fulton c. Shin

33:) Love is a lot like back pain, it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns

34:) Love with old people is like the sun on snow, it cheers more than it warms. – JB Singh

35:) My brother is gay and my parents don’t care as long as he marries a doctor. – Elaine Pozler

36:) When you are in love, it is the most glorious day of your two and a half days of life. – Richard Lewis

37:) Instead of marrying again, I will find a woman I don’t love and just give her a home. – Louis Grizzard

38:) When I want to end a relationship I just say, ‘You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children’. Sometimes they leave slip marks. – Rita Rodner

39:) I want a nice and understanding man.- Zsa Zsa Gabor

40:) He can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or personality attractiveness, but merely the ability to appear uninterested in him so much. – Helen Fielding

Funny Relationship Quotes For Him

Funny Relationship Quotes For Him

41:) Love does not make the world go round. Love is what makes the trip worthwhile. – Franklin B. Jones

42:) Failed relationships can be described as a lot of wasted makeup. – Marian Keys

43:) My wife gets all the money I earn. I only get an apple and clean clothes every morning. – Ray Romano

45:) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it inside and you take it out and you lose interest. Professor Irwin Corey

46:) Assumptions are termites for relationships. – Henry Winkler

47:) If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really love the first, you won’t fall for the second. – Johnny Depp

48:) It’s not a good idea to pretend that any relationship has a future if your sets of records differ violently or if your favorite movies won’t even talk to each other if they meet at a party. – Nick Hornby

49:) What is the best way to make your husband remember your mention? He got married on his birthday. – Cindy Garner

50:) Venn diagram for boys who don’t like smart girls and boys who don’t want to date is a circle. – John Green

Cute And Funny Relationship Quotes

51:) If only one could distinguish true love from false love as one could distinguish mushroom from toad. – Katherine Mansfield

52:) Women hope that men will change after marriage, but men do not hope that women will not change, but they do. – Bettina Arendt

53:) True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, check your ears. – Eric Segal

54:) Love is a two-way street that is constantly under construction. – Carol Bryant

55:) A man in love is not complete until he marries. Then it’s over. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

56:) Love is the only kind of fire that is not covered by insurance.

57:) I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do a lot of it? Jean Elsley Clark

58:) An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can grow up, the more he cares about her. – Agatha Christie

59:) Women love self-confident bald men. – Larry David

60:) Love is blind but marriage is real. – Pauline Thomason

Funny Quotes About Relationship

61:) Love does not fall on you unexpectedly. You have to give signals, like an amateur radio operator. – Helen Gurley Brown

62:) I had a dream that I still love you. I think I woke up screaming. – Christine

63:) Love is fun but it won’t pay the bills. – Jessica Martin

64:) It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. – Lucille Ball

65:) I went to a meeting for premature ejaculation. I left early. – Jack Penny

66:) My wife was afraid of the dark … Then she saw me naked and now she is afraid of the light. – Rodney Dangerfield

67:) An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can grow into the more he cares about her. – Agatha Christie

68:) My wife and I have been happy for 20 years – then we met. – Rodney Dangerfield

67:) Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the guy I want my kids to spend weekends with? – Rita Rodner

68:) If you text someone saying ‘I love you’ and that person writes an emoji again – no matter what that emoji is, the love won’t return you. – Chelsea Peretti

69:) I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was meticulous. – Russell Brand

Funny Relationship Quotes In Hindi

70:) Love is telling someone that their hair extensions are showing. – Natasha Leggeru

71:) I am now making a jewish porn movie. Ten percent is sex, 90 percent is guilt. – Henny Youngman

72:) Love conquers everything except poverty and toothache. – May West

73:) Remember, under every cynic there is a romantic, and possibly a wounded story. – Benjamin Franklin

74:) Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re after, start with a car battery. – Frederick Ryder

75:) My friends tell me that I have a problem with intimacy. But they don’t really know me. – Gary Shell

76:) If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question please? – Lily Tomlin

77:) Being a good husband is like being a comedian. It takes 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. – Jerry Seinfeld

78:) Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? – Groucho Marx

79:) Women marry men in the hope that they will change. Men marry women hoping they won’t. So all of them are inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

80:) I don’t see how marriage could be worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that’s still not much to recommend. – Larry McMurtry

Best Funny Relationship Quotes In English

81:) Marriage is really hard because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. – Richard Pryor

82:) Love is a lot like back pain: it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns

83:) If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re into something. – Fran Lebowitz